bionicstaringmachine

If Alpine hadn't shown up here mysteriously [ There's something pointed in that text, his way of saying even if she decided to plead the fifth then, that he knew it was her doing, even before the Chewy shipment. ] I would've been feeding her or another cat and ended up with one the same way. It's how I knew it was bullshit that Liho didn't hang around more than you said she did.
I only take my time when it counts. If I'm a second after thirty minutes, something happened.

[ Even if that something might be something like debating a while on what kind of flowers to grab. He might get lucky and the person selling them will be able to lead him in the right direction there. ]

Alright, but might surprise you when I'm the one knocking you on yours. I'm not holding back on account of it being a date.

It was extremely mysterious. Maybe she knows how to pick locks.
Good thing she chose your place to break into.
Liho does make a good roommate. Can't stay mad at her even when she talks back to me.
I'll give you a window of fifteen minutes before I raise any alarms.

[You know, just in case something weird happens on his way to her place. Because that would be on par with the kind of luck they both seem to have at times.]

You better not. I'd be disappointed if you weren't trying to knock me on my ass too.

Guess I'm lucky I don't have a lot of doors for her to unlock, I'd never see the end of it.
And she was able to bypass my alarm.
She must do that a lot when I'm not around, 'cause that doesn't sound like the Liho I know.
Alright, forty-five minutes, a second later and you're gonna have to track me down.

[ They do have some shitty luck - he thinks him more than her, but they might be able to have a debate on it - but he hopes it doesn't take him forty-five minutes to get himself together and pick out flowers before he heads to her to take her to this restaurant. Then sparring after. ]

And I don't plan on holding back. Not much at least.

Maybe she's been using an AI too.

[That is, after all, one of Natasha's secrets to disabling alarm systems. The other one is just good old fashioned ingenuity.]

She's on her best behavior when you're around.
Deal.
I've got some ideas for how you can feel more comfortable not having to hold back at all.

[That's probably not comforting in abstract. But she figures he might be more confident if she comes in armed, so she's concocted a plan that involves wooden staffs.

And fridge magnets.]

Must be. I wonder who she learned that trick from.

[ Yeah, he can take a wild guess who his cat would learn that kind of thing from and there's about three guesses on who would be on the top of that list. ]

With her best behavior being that, her worst can't be all that bad.
🤝

[ There's a pause because he's used to holding back, trying to keep himself from hurting anyone who doesn't have a similar serum running through their veins or if the time ever comes he spars with anyone with powers, able to fight back with a little more than he can with his training and enhancements. ]

How are you planning on doing that?

Probably Steve.

[Which sounds like a smart ass comment on the surface, but she's equally confident Mr. 'I learned how to steal cars in Nazi Germany' is more than capable of some light b&e when he puts his mind to it.

Even though it was absolutely her. Misdirection, okay?]

Guess I'll keep her.
🫡

I've got a couple of different ideas.
Weapons and a stand in for the widow's bites since I don't want to electrocute you this time.

['This time' isn't exactly a comforting thing to say, Natasha. But he's not the only one that's used to holding back in battle. The difference is that he has to pull his punches whereas she reserves certain moves and skills so she can disrupt the fight pattern people expect from her.]

Here I was worried he'd try to steal her from me, the whole time he was turning her into a bigger pain in the ass than him.

[ He sees through the misdirection but, he'll humor it. He can see Steve making sure that Alpine gives him a little grief, even if she's usually well behaved. ]

Not that she'd make it easy for you if you tried to get rid of her.

That's 'cause it's cheating when you do that and you know it. Even if I guess I can try and use the dead weight of it while I'm waiting for my arm to work again.

[ He's making light of it because he knows she wouldn't be trying to electrocute him on purpose, if she's looking for other alternatives...but it would get in the way of their continued sparring if his arm was out of commission for even a short period of time. ]

Should've known.

[She does appreciate that he's clearly playing along with her misdirection.]

I already went from telling her I'd feed her but she couldn't come inside to letting her live here and make cat friends.

[Doomed. She's so doomed. Never tell anyone that she has a cat shaped soft spot, Bucky.]

It's not cheating, it's just utilizing my skills to my advantage.

I'm gonna have to supervise his visits with her from now on, can't have him teaching her too much.

[ He can indulge things like this because it's more fun to pretend that Steve is the one trying to turn his innocent cat into a little troublemaker. ]

Alpine and I gotta thank Liho for that, since I'd probably be stuck with some mean alley cat if you didn't have her.

[ He's been told he resembles Grumpy Cat, so he probably would've ended up with a cat that is similar in nature and he'll take Alpine over that cat any day. If she keeps his soft spot secret, he'll be able to keep hers a secret too. ]

Sounds like a lot of words for cheating to me.

This could be a good way to teach him about subterfuge.

[Even when he's being sneaky, Steve still brings a certain amount of...'wearing a red and white target on his back' to the party that's about as subtle as getting punched in the face with an American flag.]

Liho accepts her thanks in the form of catnip. Which she is happy to share.

[She couldn't see him with a grumpy cat. Even if there is a certain resemblance. But she could see him with a cat that's slower to warm up. Alpine's still the better option. His secret will be safe with her.]

One could make the same argument about super strength.

I don't think he knows what it means to try and be sneaky. He didn't know what it meant back then and now he's harder to miss.

[ And it's not just because he's taller than he used to be. But if anyone could teach it to him and make it stick, it would be them. ]

Good thing I started buyin' it in bulk.

[ It was more cost effective to do it that way, but he's beginning to develop a habit of getting a few things for Liho when he's getting things for Alpine. ]

I can't shut off the super strength and I already pull my punches because of it.

I've gotten him to try a few times. It's definitely not his forte.

[But she does appreciate the willingness to try. All things considered, he'd done a decent job when they'd all been on the run.]

Did you really?

[There's a possibility that he's joking. But she thinks it's more likely that it's true. It hasn't escaped her attention that there are enough supplies at his place for two cats.]

Guess I'll just have to convince you not to pull your punches when we spar by using every trick in the book.

[And some tricks she wrote on her own.]

inbox.

what if i came back to this ten days later, WHAT THEN?

and what if i CHEERED?

ALL THE CHEERING because look, they will FINALLY hit their breaking point soon lmao

listen i won't be surprised if someone's apartment ends up trashed when the dam bursts lmao

oh it's happening and will they be sorry about it? nope

both of them trying to pretend like they're not proud of the destruction

they're 100% proud because if it ISN'T trashed then they were holding back still tbqh

this is the actual truth

lmfao did i debate on tagging the morning after meme with this EXACT situation? yes i did

lmao just [scene opens on an absolutely ruined apartment. there's a knife stuck in the wall.]

look it might still happen and they're like huh how'd that get there

they will immediately launch into a game of "guess who the knife belongs to before we go get it"