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bionicstaringmachine) wrote2024-03-02 10:55 pm
bionicstaringmachine) wrote2024-03-02 10:55 pm
inbox.
overflow (tfln & other text posts) and text/audio/video in general.
overflow (tfln & other text posts) and text/audio/video in general.
βcontinued from hereβ
Well, he reminded me that you were dragged out of here after protesting three times before Sam promised he would have you back in time.
[ Yeah, the boy quoted him word for word. ]
And that you're alright, you're just a little held up because you have a surprise for me. Which is aside from the peace offering flowers.
[ ... there it is. There's the catch. ]
[ He's glad he didn't breathe easy about it, thinking that the kid managed to just repeat what he told him to, because it would've been easy breaths that were wasted. He's glad that Vetle did what he could to try and get Hel to be less mad but did he have to go that extra mile in mentioning a surprise? Now he's gotta think of a surprise. And fast! ]
I knew I shouldn't come home empty handed and that flowers don't count for much, as far as apologies go. It's more of an apology from me, but Sam says he's sorry too - in case he didn't tell you that when you talked to him.
I knew I shouldn't come home empty handed and that flowers don't count for much, as far as apologies go. It's more of an apology from me, but Sam says he's sorry too - in case he didn't tell you that when you talked to him.
[ There's another long beat, a stretch of minutes as he's making sure that he's disabled his alarm because he knows how quick it can be for her to show up after conjures up the portal. That was just bad manners, leaving it up when she would undoubtedly trip it when she shows up and he doesn't want that. It is a mark of how much he trusts her and feels at ease being around her already that he's willing to not only have her over but also disable his alarm, knowing it would remove that early warning of anyone who might be coming around to attack him if they wanted.
It's trust, it's a hint of him showing that vulnerable part to himself that he hasn't shown anyone really, at least not anyone new in his life at any rate. ]
I'm ready.
[ It's a simple text, but he really is waiting by the door and anticipating her arrival that he's aware of any sounds that are outside of the door to signal her arrival and doesn't waste any time in getting the door open for her and ushering her inside once she does arrive.
It's why it's a beat later, as he's helping her by taking what she's brought with her, that he realizes there's more here than just dinner. ]
Looks like you brought more than just dinner and cookies for us to share. Now I kinda wish I had more than just a tiny couch and a chair to offer you.
[ It's served him well so far, he's not really had anyone over but now he's realizing how bare his place is in comparison to most people's and while it was "normal" ( he had no clue what that meant, what 'normal' was for most people ) and part of his adjustment because of who he was and what he'd been for so long, it put him in an awkward position when it came to actually having someone over. ]
It's trust, it's a hint of him showing that vulnerable part to himself that he hasn't shown anyone really, at least not anyone new in his life at any rate. ]
I'm ready.
[ It's a simple text, but he really is waiting by the door and anticipating her arrival that he's aware of any sounds that are outside of the door to signal her arrival and doesn't waste any time in getting the door open for her and ushering her inside once she does arrive.
It's why it's a beat later, as he's helping her by taking what she's brought with her, that he realizes there's more here than just dinner. ]
Looks like you brought more than just dinner and cookies for us to share. Now I kinda wish I had more than just a tiny couch and a chair to offer you.
[ It's served him well so far, he's not really had anyone over but now he's realizing how bare his place is in comparison to most people's and while it was "normal" ( he had no clue what that meant, what 'normal' was for most people ) and part of his adjustment because of who he was and what he'd been for so long, it put him in an awkward position when it came to actually having someone over. ]
[ He's hoping that he can prove that damn track record wrong and actually come back without needing her or anyone else to come in and save his ass. If he can manage that, then he thinks he might be turning their luck around. He knows it's a two way street, the way they worry about each other but he can't help it that he feels like he's given her more than her fair share of it. He might be Captain America, but damn if he didn't want to give her a moment or two where she could breathe easily for a while and not worry about if he's gonna go on a major mission and not make it back again. ]
I dunno, sounds a lot to me like you're not lookin' to get me in the suit. I'm gonna have to give you something to look forward to for when I get back from this, just for that.
I dunno, sounds a lot to me like you're not lookin' to get me in the suit. I'm gonna have to give you something to look forward to for when I get back from this, just for that.
Oh, I was thinking we could have a picnic anyway. [ She holds up the blanket she's folded across her other arm to indicate it. ] You know, bring the woods to you. Sort of.
[ When they're finally settled on the floor, she produces the potted plant with a small, graceful flourish that definitely says she's related to the Trickster God. It's a confidence that's been growing in Bucky's presence, though she hasn't really noticed it herself. ] Ta-da! I couldn't take the whole garden, so this will have to do.
[ They should probably eat first, but she feels she has to say: ]
Thank you for letting me come over. I really wanted to see you after... that.
[ When they're finally settled on the floor, she produces the potted plant with a small, graceful flourish that definitely says she's related to the Trickster God. It's a confidence that's been growing in Bucky's presence, though she hasn't really noticed it herself. ] Ta-da! I couldn't take the whole garden, so this will have to do.
[ They should probably eat first, but she feels she has to say: ]
Thank you for letting me come over. I really wanted to see you after... that.
Okay, sure. But can you teach me how to fight? Like, properly?
[ She can defend herself with a steak knife but she doesn't have technique. It would be nice to have some finesse. ]
It's not stupid if you're having fun. I think we're going to have a lot of fun. [ As strange as it might be that this outing is going to be with someone she's only gotten to talk to over the phone. But maybe that's also just how the world works these days? ]
[ She can defend herself with a steak knife but she doesn't have technique. It would be nice to have some finesse. ]
It's not stupid if you're having fun. I think we're going to have a lot of fun. [ As strange as it might be that this outing is going to be with someone she's only gotten to talk to over the phone. But maybe that's also just how the world works these days? ]
Well I first have to get you in it so I can take you out of it, right?
[ Though in actuality it often takes quite a while before they get to that part. They've both almost always needed to decompress after a fight, which mostly involves getting cleaned up and comfortable and just... holding one another. It's usually much later when the playful intimacy comes in. When it feels safe enough. Not just safe from their surroundings, but... safe enough that they can't hurt the other, accidentally or otherwise. ]
Are you, now? You're gonna, what, remove all your weapons before you get back in here so we don't have to keep stopping every five seconds?
[ Though in actuality it often takes quite a while before they get to that part. They've both almost always needed to decompress after a fight, which mostly involves getting cleaned up and comfortable and just... holding one another. It's usually much later when the playful intimacy comes in. When it feels safe enough. Not just safe from their surroundings, but... safe enough that they can't hurt the other, accidentally or otherwise. ]
Are you, now? You're gonna, what, remove all your weapons before you get back in here so we don't have to keep stopping every five seconds?
[ While Bucky already knew his defenses were lower when it came to Hel - it had something to do with being able to talk to her easily, not having any pretenses or added bullshit that came to do with who he was and what he'd done while also being aware that he's different and it not be surprising - he can feel them slip a little further down. He's admitted that he wants her ( wants her near, wants her more than just as a friend ) but he can't fully trace how far down that feeling goes. How much he trusts her, how much he cares and how deeply she's already impacting him despite the short time they've known one another. But he can pinpoint just where he softens toward her a bit more between her deciding to bring the woods to him and presenting him a small potted plant like she did.
The only people he's felt that sense of ease and feeling accepted with in recent times was the Wilson family and that was a feeling of family ( Uncle Winter Soldier Sam said ) as opposed to something deeper, something that's quickly moved away from the platonic friendship they've thought this was and into something more. It's been a long damn time since he felt like this and he's still not fully sure how to navigate that dance, but he's willing to try. ]
Thanks, [ He's ducking his head a little, almost sheepish in accepting the offering from her because he's not gifted things often. ] I'll uh - I'll try not to kill it. It's not gonna take much to keep it living, is it? You might wanna get visitations to it, to make sure I'm taking care of it right.
[ It's a sly invitation to have her come over more, if she isn't put off by this whole experience at the end of it. He knows he doesn't have much, it never really bothered him before but now that he's faced with having her in his space and knowing that he wants her to be there, he knows it's not normal for most people. ]
It's not a conversation you wanna have over the phone - text or a phone call. And I wanted to see you too. Not just 'cause of what we were talking about, but since I was thinking about you. I didn't know if you'd want to come over or if it was too outta line to bring it up on my own.
The only people he's felt that sense of ease and feeling accepted with in recent times was the Wilson family and that was a feeling of family ( Uncle Winter Soldier Sam said ) as opposed to something deeper, something that's quickly moved away from the platonic friendship they've thought this was and into something more. It's been a long damn time since he felt like this and he's still not fully sure how to navigate that dance, but he's willing to try. ]
Thanks, [ He's ducking his head a little, almost sheepish in accepting the offering from her because he's not gifted things often. ] I'll uh - I'll try not to kill it. It's not gonna take much to keep it living, is it? You might wanna get visitations to it, to make sure I'm taking care of it right.
[ It's a sly invitation to have her come over more, if she isn't put off by this whole experience at the end of it. He knows he doesn't have much, it never really bothered him before but now that he's faced with having her in his space and knowing that he wants her to be there, he knows it's not normal for most people. ]
It's not a conversation you wanna have over the phone - text or a phone call. And I wanted to see you too. Not just 'cause of what we were talking about, but since I was thinking about you. I didn't know if you'd want to come over or if it was too outta line to bring it up on my own.
Edited 2024-05-09 05:31 (UTC)
I can show you some things, yeah. It's not a bad idea to know a little, just like having a knife near by.
[ He has to remind himself it isn't with the intent to turn her into a killing machine, but to pass on some of the knowledge he has and it's different than when he'd been put up against other Winter Soldiers to test their mettle or when he trained Black Widows. Self defense wasn't a bad thing, it was a smart thing. ]
I'm gonna need you to tell a friend of mine how much fun I am after all of this, 'cause he's convinced I suck all the fun out of things.
[ It's a joke, a lot like how the lighter interactions with Sam tended to be because they liked to rib each other, but he wants to prove to the other man that it wasn't him who was the problem. ]
[ He has to remind himself it isn't with the intent to turn her into a killing machine, but to pass on some of the knowledge he has and it's different than when he'd been put up against other Winter Soldiers to test their mettle or when he trained Black Widows. Self defense wasn't a bad thing, it was a smart thing. ]
I'm gonna need you to tell a friend of mine how much fun I am after all of this, 'cause he's convinced I suck all the fun out of things.
[ It's a joke, a lot like how the lighter interactions with Sam tended to be because they liked to rib each other, but he wants to prove to the other man that it wasn't him who was the problem. ]
You think it counts much for getting me in it if you're trying to take it off right after?
[ It's never so easy - even before he had his Captain America suit - to just get in and out of combat gear because of how heavily armed they are. The both of them. And sometimes it's hit or miss on what the driving need is after a mission, because while it doesn't happen all that often anymore, he can feel haunted after a fight depending on the feelings that it brings up. He's been fighting for as long as he can remember ( with only brief reprieves from it here and there ) and that's something that leaves marks, scars and a trail of blood that isn't easily washed away. ]
Here I thought you liked that 'cause it builds anticipation. I can make sure the bulk of 'em are removed, just to save some time.
[ It's never so easy - even before he had his Captain America suit - to just get in and out of combat gear because of how heavily armed they are. The both of them. And sometimes it's hit or miss on what the driving need is after a mission, because while it doesn't happen all that often anymore, he can feel haunted after a fight depending on the feelings that it brings up. He's been fighting for as long as he can remember ( with only brief reprieves from it here and there ) and that's something that leaves marks, scars and a trail of blood that isn't easily washed away. ]
Here I thought you liked that 'cause it builds anticipation. I can make sure the bulk of 'em are removed, just to save some time.
[ It's good that he actually means the invitation because she visibly perks up before also ducking her head a little. ]
No, it's very low maintenance. [ Like me, she almost adds, but she doesn't want to come off as desperate and scare him away, especially now that they've finally gotten somewhere. So she plays along with it: ] But you're right, it might be for the best if I check on it every now and then. Plants can be tricky.
[ She peers up at him then, in that half-coy, half-playful manner she seems to manage around him. The food's ready and spread out between them, but she momentarily forgets about it as her attention is all on him. ]
I've been thinking about you too. [ Her sketchpad will be proof of that, if he goes through it later. ] I just... didn't know if you'd want me to come over. [ She smiles at him, hinting that she deliberately echoed what he said word for word. Then she shrugs. ] I didn't want to make it weird. In case you... weren't interested and, you know, wanted to just be friends.
[ She's not sure why she's nervous again, because she suddenly is, words tumbling out of her. ] You're really kind and... you probably know many others who are prettier and more interesting than me, and I... I didn't want to make you feel like you had to... spare my feelings, or something. [ Which is a long-winded way and still not directly conveying that she's giving him a chance to change his mind. ]
No, it's very low maintenance. [ Like me, she almost adds, but she doesn't want to come off as desperate and scare him away, especially now that they've finally gotten somewhere. So she plays along with it: ] But you're right, it might be for the best if I check on it every now and then. Plants can be tricky.
[ She peers up at him then, in that half-coy, half-playful manner she seems to manage around him. The food's ready and spread out between them, but she momentarily forgets about it as her attention is all on him. ]
I've been thinking about you too. [ Her sketchpad will be proof of that, if he goes through it later. ] I just... didn't know if you'd want me to come over. [ She smiles at him, hinting that she deliberately echoed what he said word for word. Then she shrugs. ] I didn't want to make it weird. In case you... weren't interested and, you know, wanted to just be friends.
[ She's not sure why she's nervous again, because she suddenly is, words tumbling out of her. ] You're really kind and... you probably know many others who are prettier and more interesting than me, and I... I didn't want to make you feel like you had to... spare my feelings, or something. [ Which is a long-winded way and still not directly conveying that she's giving him a chance to change his mind. ]
[ Just before he strikes, he'll see her close her eyes. It's yet another mistake in battle, even if it's one that's not supposed to be real and only some form of exercise, and were their handlers watching, they would think that something's wrong with her, that she's broken.
But she doesn't think, only surrenders. She yields to whatever it is that runs through her body β because she can't trust her mind, there's a noise and a haze that permeates her thoughts until she can't think at all. Contrary to what they'd have been conditioned to believe, however, letting go is not defeat, for she smoothly avoids the strike. She steps back as he swings forward. A dance.
When he comes again, she ducks, eyes still closed. His strike is so precise he could probably cut air, but her body feels the vibrations and pivots to avoid them. A moment later she senses an opening, though when she takes it, she doesn't draw a knife or swing her fist at him. Instead she kicks at the ground, at the snow piled by her foot, aiming to send the wet clumps into his face.
All she needs is for him to take one wrong step, so their positions are reversed. She refuses to be the one who falls over. ]
But she doesn't think, only surrenders. She yields to whatever it is that runs through her body β because she can't trust her mind, there's a noise and a haze that permeates her thoughts until she can't think at all. Contrary to what they'd have been conditioned to believe, however, letting go is not defeat, for she smoothly avoids the strike. She steps back as he swings forward. A dance.
When he comes again, she ducks, eyes still closed. His strike is so precise he could probably cut air, but her body feels the vibrations and pivots to avoid them. A moment later she senses an opening, though when she takes it, she doesn't draw a knife or swing her fist at him. Instead she kicks at the ground, at the snow piled by her foot, aiming to send the wet clumps into his face.
All she needs is for him to take one wrong step, so their positions are reversed. She refuses to be the one who falls over. ]
I promise I won't stab you with it. Or my brothers. Or anyone really, unless they try to stab me first.
[ Or if she feels threatened. Not that there are a lot of things that she thinks are dangerous in the woods. Outside though... ]
Is it your friend Sam? I can text him now if you want.
[ She'll do it, she's not kidding. ]
[ Or if she feels threatened. Not that there are a lot of things that she thinks are dangerous in the woods. Outside though... ]
Is it your friend Sam? I can text him now if you want.
[ She'll do it, she's not kidding. ]
No, but we can pretend that it does.
[ What? She'll take any excuse to get him out of anything... or, well, clothes, at least. She'd like to think she's done getting him out of enemy camps and warzones, though she's always ready to suit up herself whenever he's out on a mission. It might not be in her job description, but it's part of their wedding vows somewhere. ]
Well you said you were gonna give me a treat. And I'll be here barely armed, it's not fair that I suffer and you don't.
[ Barely, because of course she's still armed. ]
[ What? She'll take any excuse to get him out of anything... or, well, clothes, at least. She'd like to think she's done getting him out of enemy camps and warzones, though she's always ready to suit up herself whenever he's out on a mission. It might not be in her job description, but it's part of their wedding vows somewhere. ]
Well you said you were gonna give me a treat. And I'll be here barely armed, it's not fair that I suffer and you don't.
[ Barely, because of course she's still armed. ]
[ They're mirroring each other and that's either a good sign or a bad sign or it's just a sign of knowing that they'll fumble through this together. Bucky can't claim he doesn't have experience with this, with trying to test the waters and figure out how to make heads or tails about what the signs are pointing toward when it came to attraction and feelings and all that. But he hasn't had that experience in eighty years, so he may as well be as new to it as she is. ]
Good, 'cause I wanna be able to see you more, now that I know you can manage a portal outside my door. [ The corners of his lips pull up, just a little in the slightest of smiles, probably closer to a soft smirk when he says this because he knows that's the real reason before adding: ] And to keep the plant from dying. I don't wanna ruin something you gave me.
[ They're not there yet, when it comes to their feelings for each other but he might not just be talking about the plant. She's giving him her trust and her affection and that is not something he's taking lightly, because he doesn't want to ruin either of those things. He's giving her those parts of himself as well, allowing her in and he's trying to do his best and not take those step backward in retreat because it's new for him. ]
I don't know who you think I know, but I don't think any of 'em are prettier or more interesting than you. [ He's looking at her dead on as he says this, because that's the important part of it all, behind the talk about sparing her feelings. ] I wouldn't have told you that you could come over, if I was just tryin' to spare your feelings or if I wasn't interested. I don't do that. The history books might talk about me being a flirt, but I only did it with women I was interested in.
[ There's a beat, as he makes sure she isn't looking down or away or trying to put her attention on something else - like the food that they had sitting, untouched - because he knows he tends to lean on props like that when they're available to him and he doesn't want to expose those vulnerabilities more than they already are. ]
I flirt with you 'cause I'm interested. I want you here, 'cause I'm interested. I later texted that asshole who thought I was you, telling him to lose the number, 'cause I'm interested.
Good, 'cause I wanna be able to see you more, now that I know you can manage a portal outside my door. [ The corners of his lips pull up, just a little in the slightest of smiles, probably closer to a soft smirk when he says this because he knows that's the real reason before adding: ] And to keep the plant from dying. I don't wanna ruin something you gave me.
[ They're not there yet, when it comes to their feelings for each other but he might not just be talking about the plant. She's giving him her trust and her affection and that is not something he's taking lightly, because he doesn't want to ruin either of those things. He's giving her those parts of himself as well, allowing her in and he's trying to do his best and not take those step backward in retreat because it's new for him. ]
I don't know who you think I know, but I don't think any of 'em are prettier or more interesting than you. [ He's looking at her dead on as he says this, because that's the important part of it all, behind the talk about sparing her feelings. ] I wouldn't have told you that you could come over, if I was just tryin' to spare your feelings or if I wasn't interested. I don't do that. The history books might talk about me being a flirt, but I only did it with women I was interested in.
[ There's a beat, as he makes sure she isn't looking down or away or trying to put her attention on something else - like the food that they had sitting, untouched - because he knows he tends to lean on props like that when they're available to him and he doesn't want to expose those vulnerabilities more than they already are. ]
I flirt with you 'cause I'm interested. I want you here, 'cause I'm interested. I later texted that asshole who thought I was you, telling him to lose the number, 'cause I'm interested.
If you were stabbing me, then you must've saw me as a threat and I'm not gonna pretend that's not a possibility.
But I'd heal fast anyway.
[ Not that he wants to be stabbed by her - it's the opposite - and he won't instantly heal but he also knows he's still a stranger. Something about him could make her think she's feeling threatened and he can't begrudge that kind of response, not when he knows what he's capable of. ]
I'll have you text him after. Knowing him, he'll try to talk you outta hanging out with me and I don't want that.
But I'd heal fast anyway.
[ Not that he wants to be stabbed by her - it's the opposite - and he won't instantly heal but he also knows he's still a stranger. Something about him could make her think she's feeling threatened and he can't begrudge that kind of response, not when he knows what he's capable of. ]
I'll have you text him after. Knowing him, he'll try to talk you outta hanging out with me and I don't want that.
Guess if I needed incentive to suit up, it's that.
[ He'll take her getting him out of clothes any day. He's hoping the other things she's gotten him out of, that's a thing of the past - if he has anything to say about it. It's not how he wants the situation going and he tries to avoid it each time if he can, but he knows not a lot is within his power. He might have all the serum gave him and an arm that's even stronger than his flesh one, but it doesn't mean he's all-powerful and capable of doing more than what his body will allow. ]
And if I'm making a show of it when I'm getting the weapons and my suit outta the way?
[ He'll take her getting him out of clothes any day. He's hoping the other things she's gotten him out of, that's a thing of the past - if he has anything to say about it. It's not how he wants the situation going and he tries to avoid it each time if he can, but he knows not a lot is within his power. He might have all the serum gave him and an arm that's even stronger than his flesh one, but it doesn't mean he's all-powerful and capable of doing more than what his body will allow. ]
And if I'm making a show of it when I'm getting the weapons and my suit outta the way?
You are so weird.
[ But that's a good thing, because so is she. She's a sheltered little witch who looks half-dead without the glamour, who's been so out of touch with the world she's almost no different to this man out of time. And while she still can't believe someone like him is truly interested in someone like her, she's sure as hell not pushing him away.
With her non-disfigured hand, she reaches across the space between them for his flesh hand β her left on his right β and squeezes his fingers gently. Her face feels hot from all the nice things he's said, but she's not looking away. She fears that if she does, this will all end, like it's just some spell and it'll be broken if she gets distracted. She doesn't want this to end. ]
I'm glad you're interested, because I really like you, Bucky.
[ She never even thought she'd like anyone in this way. Like, sure, Fandral was charming, and Hodr was kind of cute, but neither of them have ever elicited feelings of this nature from her. She cares about Bucky; his happiness, his life, his freedom to choose. But, more importantly, he makes her feel cared for and happy and alive. ]
[ But that's a good thing, because so is she. She's a sheltered little witch who looks half-dead without the glamour, who's been so out of touch with the world she's almost no different to this man out of time. And while she still can't believe someone like him is truly interested in someone like her, she's sure as hell not pushing him away.
With her non-disfigured hand, she reaches across the space between them for his flesh hand β her left on his right β and squeezes his fingers gently. Her face feels hot from all the nice things he's said, but she's not looking away. She fears that if she does, this will all end, like it's just some spell and it'll be broken if she gets distracted. She doesn't want this to end. ]
I'm glad you're interested, because I really like you, Bucky.
[ She never even thought she'd like anyone in this way. Like, sure, Fandral was charming, and Hodr was kind of cute, but neither of them have ever elicited feelings of this nature from her. She cares about Bucky; his happiness, his life, his freedom to choose. But, more importantly, he makes her feel cared for and happy and alive. ]
Oh, a show. That is a treat. I'm in. Take all the weapons you like.
[ He's going to be insufferable and infuriating but that's also like, really hot. She's always enjoyed that side of him, though she's only had glimpses and short bursts of it over the years on account of, well, everything that's happened since the Zola mission. They never really came back from that. ]
[ He's going to be insufferable and infuriating but that's also like, really hot. She's always enjoyed that side of him, though she's only had glimpses and short bursts of it over the years on account of, well, everything that's happened since the Zola mission. They never really came back from that. ]
You, a threat? But you're just a funny man with a funny arm.
[ If everything he's said is true, anyway. She realizes it might not be. They've only just gotten acquainted, and over text too. She really shouldn't be trusting him that much that she's willing to go off on a roadtrip with him... and yet she does. Her instincts aren't yelling at her to back away and run. Weird. ]
How rude! He's just like my brothers. [ Which she supposes are just what boys are like? Trolling, ribbing, pranking... ] Well, he'll just find out that it's very hard to change my mind once I've made it up.
[ If everything he's said is true, anyway. She realizes it might not be. They've only just gotten acquainted, and over text too. She really shouldn't be trusting him that much that she's willing to go off on a roadtrip with him... and yet she does. Her instincts aren't yelling at her to back away and run. Weird. ]
How rude! He's just like my brothers. [ Which she supposes are just what boys are like? Trolling, ribbing, pranking... ] Well, he'll just find out that it's very hard to change my mind once I've made it up.
What's weird about that?
[ He's scoffing just a little, acting like she's talking about the way he feels like he poured his heart out to her just now because that's...honestly what it felt like. He isn't the kind of guy who uses a lot of words in most situations, at least not if he can help it. He's not as monosyllabic as a whole like he used to be, but he still doesn't talk a lot unless the occasion calls for it.
This was one of those occasions.
It's important she knows that he's interested in her, that he's not just saying these things to say them or to be nice and kind because he's not the kind of guy who leans into that kind of thing. Only certain people really get to see his kindness or if he's in the middle of a mission and needs to try and be reassuring but that's about it.
He's squeezing her fingers back just as gently - and briefly glad she chose his flesh hand instead of the vibranium one - even if it's no different for him to be mindful of himself when he's using either hand due to the serum giving him that added strength, he still tries to be a little more gentle when it comes to his non-flesh hand.
A beat later and he's wetting his lips, a movement that he didn't really think of but then he finds himself looking down at her own before bringing his gaze back up to hers. Well, now that they have it out of the way that they're both interested in each other, it's not as bad that he's thought about kissing her a time or two now and waved it off because it wasn't what friends do. ]
The food's probably getting cold but uh, [ He's shifting in, a little closer to her in how they're seated, just getting rid of a little bit of that space. ] I really wanna kiss you. That alright with you? [ He leaves it there in her court, with the slightest of raises of his eyebrows up toward his hairline, because he's not going to bring her in and kiss her without her giving her full consent to it. ]
[ He's scoffing just a little, acting like she's talking about the way he feels like he poured his heart out to her just now because that's...honestly what it felt like. He isn't the kind of guy who uses a lot of words in most situations, at least not if he can help it. He's not as monosyllabic as a whole like he used to be, but he still doesn't talk a lot unless the occasion calls for it.
This was one of those occasions.
It's important she knows that he's interested in her, that he's not just saying these things to say them or to be nice and kind because he's not the kind of guy who leans into that kind of thing. Only certain people really get to see his kindness or if he's in the middle of a mission and needs to try and be reassuring but that's about it.
He's squeezing her fingers back just as gently - and briefly glad she chose his flesh hand instead of the vibranium one - even if it's no different for him to be mindful of himself when he's using either hand due to the serum giving him that added strength, he still tries to be a little more gentle when it comes to his non-flesh hand.
A beat later and he's wetting his lips, a movement that he didn't really think of but then he finds himself looking down at her own before bringing his gaze back up to hers. Well, now that they have it out of the way that they're both interested in each other, it's not as bad that he's thought about kissing her a time or two now and waved it off because it wasn't what friends do. ]
The food's probably getting cold but uh, [ He's shifting in, a little closer to her in how they're seated, just getting rid of a little bit of that space. ] I really wanna kiss you. That alright with you? [ He leaves it there in her court, with the slightest of raises of his eyebrows up toward his hairline, because he's not going to bring her in and kiss her without her giving her full consent to it. ]
[ Oh no, did she offend him? It wasn't that she thought he was lying or anything, it's justβ ]
I just meant you have weird taste! [ That... doesn't really sound any better. So she points to herself, for emphasis. ] Most people don't like me. [ But he's not most people, hence why she quickly adds: ] I'm glad you like me, even if I'm weird.
[ She's turning a little red now, both pleased by his admission and embarrassed by her dumb reaction. Yet despite all their flirting and what they've already said to each other, she's still visibly shocked when he declares he wants to kiss her. ]
... Wow. [ She blinks a few times at him, then ducks her head as she lets out a flustered laugh. But she doesn't release his hand, her fingers even squeezing his again. ] That's... that's a first. [ More than the emphasis on the really, he'd actually asked. He didn't just swoop right in and do it β not that she would've minded, since it's him and not some rando in a bar who'd name her 'hot hoodie girl' on his phone. Or maybe Bucky's just wary that she's going to stab him with a steak knife if she's spooked.
She gazes back up at him, suddenly hyperaware that he's moved so much closer to her, and she feels the temptation to simply obliterate that distance and initiate the kiss. But just as she starts to lean in, she hears that treacherous voice of her insecurities, reminding her that he might not like what he discovers, as well as the sensible voice of what might be her conscience, reminding her to respect his boundaries. Wanting to kiss her did not automatically mean he wants to be kissed. She has to give him the space to pull away if kissing her turns out to be too weird or gross.
What she does instead is push away the basket sitting between them to the side (thankfully their food's still all there and she hadn't begun unpacking) with her free hand, and saying with a grin, as she scoots closer to him: ] I know a heating spell. How did you think I ate leftovers without a microwave?
[ Still, when it gets to the point that their lips are just about to touch, she places her hand against his chest to stop him. ]
A-Are you really sure about this? You... you might just be disappointed...
[ She's not turned her head away though, and it's clear on her face that she wants this too. ]
I just meant you have weird taste! [ That... doesn't really sound any better. So she points to herself, for emphasis. ] Most people don't like me. [ But he's not most people, hence why she quickly adds: ] I'm glad you like me, even if I'm weird.
[ She's turning a little red now, both pleased by his admission and embarrassed by her dumb reaction. Yet despite all their flirting and what they've already said to each other, she's still visibly shocked when he declares he wants to kiss her. ]
... Wow. [ She blinks a few times at him, then ducks her head as she lets out a flustered laugh. But she doesn't release his hand, her fingers even squeezing his again. ] That's... that's a first. [ More than the emphasis on the really, he'd actually asked. He didn't just swoop right in and do it β not that she would've minded, since it's him and not some rando in a bar who'd name her 'hot hoodie girl' on his phone. Or maybe Bucky's just wary that she's going to stab him with a steak knife if she's spooked.
She gazes back up at him, suddenly hyperaware that he's moved so much closer to her, and she feels the temptation to simply obliterate that distance and initiate the kiss. But just as she starts to lean in, she hears that treacherous voice of her insecurities, reminding her that he might not like what he discovers, as well as the sensible voice of what might be her conscience, reminding her to respect his boundaries. Wanting to kiss her did not automatically mean he wants to be kissed. She has to give him the space to pull away if kissing her turns out to be too weird or gross.
What she does instead is push away the basket sitting between them to the side (thankfully their food's still all there and she hadn't begun unpacking) with her free hand, and saying with a grin, as she scoots closer to him: ] I know a heating spell. How did you think I ate leftovers without a microwave?
[ Still, when it gets to the point that their lips are just about to touch, she places her hand against his chest to stop him. ]
A-Are you really sure about this? You... you might just be disappointed...
[ She's not turned her head away though, and it's clear on her face that she wants this too. ]
now i need to think of more winter soldier puns and some seb-kissing-in-other-things icons i guess
bionicstaringmachine
2024-06-05 07:00 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He's slowly realizing he probably should've told her a little more about why he is the way he is - when is a good time to tell a woman you like more than a friend and actually want to explore a romantic relationship with that you have issues when it comes to body autonomy and consent? That you don't like contact with people you don't know enough to warrant that contact - unless it's a kid or someone who's in hysterics because of being a hostage or something, then he can make a small exception for that - and don't let people past certain walls because it keeps them out? How do you explain that the reason you don't have a lot of friends is because it's hard for you to open up after spending about seventy years as a tool for an organization where 'very bad people' isn't even the kind of descriptor that would explain the kind of horrors they were capable of?
He wonders if she noticed how he took a moment to feel comfortable enough to initiate and engage with the small, friendly touches they engaged in over time - helping to lead her through a doorway or a crowd with his hand at the small of her back, letting her take his arm in her own while making sure he stayed on the part of the sidewalk closest to the street, the slow reciprocation of something simple as a hug - because he didn't want to impose himself upon her and also needed to be comfortable himself with those invasions of each other's space.
Right now, it doesn't really matter and maybe he'll be able to backtrack to explain things, not when her lips are but a breath away. If he can feel those little breaths from her, he knows she's aware of that slow inhale and exhale of his own. Just like, with her hand on his chest, she might be aware of that slight uptick of the steady thump of his heart. Not much, just enough to show that he's affected by how close they are.
His vibranium hand came up to cradle the back of her head gently - he's aware of how gentle, while hoping the metal doesn't feel weird against her hair - and even as they are nose to nose, his brushing against hers just slightly he says it again: ]
This alright with you?
[ He's waiting, even with the signs very clearly pointing that she is, for some sort of affirmative and once he gets it - a nod, an actual uttering of some confirmation - that's when he closes that slight gap between them. His lips move to hers, a soft, gentle press to ease into things. He's already lived this long and doesn't see an end date in sight just yet, so he's not looking to go racing to the end. He keeps to those slow movements, doesn't want to do anything that could spook her in the end, but what was first the light brush of his lips against hers picks up, just a hair, becoming more sure as the moments tick on and he knows this is not an unwanted invasion of her space. ]
He wonders if she noticed how he took a moment to feel comfortable enough to initiate and engage with the small, friendly touches they engaged in over time - helping to lead her through a doorway or a crowd with his hand at the small of her back, letting her take his arm in her own while making sure he stayed on the part of the sidewalk closest to the street, the slow reciprocation of something simple as a hug - because he didn't want to impose himself upon her and also needed to be comfortable himself with those invasions of each other's space.
Right now, it doesn't really matter and maybe he'll be able to backtrack to explain things, not when her lips are but a breath away. If he can feel those little breaths from her, he knows she's aware of that slow inhale and exhale of his own. Just like, with her hand on his chest, she might be aware of that slight uptick of the steady thump of his heart. Not much, just enough to show that he's affected by how close they are.
His vibranium hand came up to cradle the back of her head gently - he's aware of how gentle, while hoping the metal doesn't feel weird against her hair - and even as they are nose to nose, his brushing against hers just slightly he says it again: ]
This alright with you?
[ He's waiting, even with the signs very clearly pointing that she is, for some sort of affirmative and once he gets it - a nod, an actual uttering of some confirmation - that's when he closes that slight gap between them. His lips move to hers, a soft, gentle press to ease into things. He's already lived this long and doesn't see an end date in sight just yet, so he's not looking to go racing to the end. He keeps to those slow movements, doesn't want to do anything that could spook her in the end, but what was first the light brush of his lips against hers picks up, just a hair, becoming more sure as the moments tick on and he knows this is not an unwanted invasion of her space. ]
[ Is it her magic that lets her feel the beat of his heart beneath her fingertips, or is she simply hearing her own? For despite her fear of this kiss ending badly, she realizes she wants it even more, and that is making her heart want to leap out of her chest. She used to roll her eyes at her brothers for pining and being all lovesick for someone, but caught in this moment, she finally understands.
It's almost hard to breathe with how close they are β noses touching, his free hand at the back of her head, hers on his chest. When he speaks, she feels that slightest brush against her lips, and even that level of contact is so good, she's momentarily bewildered why he's still talking and not kissing her.
Er, right. She'd stopped him, asked if he was sure. Stupid girl. ]
Y-Yes.
[ Her confirmation comes out in a breathless whisper, so soft she's not even sure she actually said anything at all and she didn't just lean in to close the gap. And that's just what it is, at first β a gentle press β yet even then it already feels like she's waking up from a long, dreamless sleep.
Her insecurities linger in the background, of course. You can't hide now, you monster, they try to whisper, reminding her of her scarred face and chapped lips and the ugliness she'd been born with, but just when she thinks she might cave in to that pressure, he is there, kissing her just a little more solidly, a little more certainly. Saving her from herself.
So she holds on to that lifeline he's offered, kissing him back β first with that mirroring tentativeness, then with a mirroring confidence because he's not stopped or pulled away. He'd said he won't do anything just to spare her feelings, so if he's doing this, if he's still kissing her, then somehow, as unbelievable as it might be, he's enjoying it. Emboldened, she follows his lead and matches his movements, falling into a dance that only they hear the music and know the steps to. Her lips part with a sigh. Her fingers start to fist the front of his shirt, and when, in doing so, her fingertips find a sliver of his skin below the hollow of his throat, she seeks more of it until she's gently cupping his cheek.
When they finally stop, her eyes are closed and she's smiling against his mouth. ]
Wow.
[ Then she peers up at him, worry seeping into her expression. ]
Sorry. Was I... was that...
It's almost hard to breathe with how close they are β noses touching, his free hand at the back of her head, hers on his chest. When he speaks, she feels that slightest brush against her lips, and even that level of contact is so good, she's momentarily bewildered why he's still talking and not kissing her.
Er, right. She'd stopped him, asked if he was sure. Stupid girl. ]
Y-Yes.
[ Her confirmation comes out in a breathless whisper, so soft she's not even sure she actually said anything at all and she didn't just lean in to close the gap. And that's just what it is, at first β a gentle press β yet even then it already feels like she's waking up from a long, dreamless sleep.
Her insecurities linger in the background, of course. You can't hide now, you monster, they try to whisper, reminding her of her scarred face and chapped lips and the ugliness she'd been born with, but just when she thinks she might cave in to that pressure, he is there, kissing her just a little more solidly, a little more certainly. Saving her from herself.
So she holds on to that lifeline he's offered, kissing him back β first with that mirroring tentativeness, then with a mirroring confidence because he's not stopped or pulled away. He'd said he won't do anything just to spare her feelings, so if he's doing this, if he's still kissing her, then somehow, as unbelievable as it might be, he's enjoying it. Emboldened, she follows his lead and matches his movements, falling into a dance that only they hear the music and know the steps to. Her lips part with a sigh. Her fingers start to fist the front of his shirt, and when, in doing so, her fingertips find a sliver of his skin below the hollow of his throat, she seeks more of it until she's gently cupping his cheek.
When they finally stop, her eyes are closed and she's smiling against his mouth. ]
Wow.
[ Then she peers up at him, worry seeping into her expression. ]
Sorry. Was I... was that...
Edited (just noticed my typos lmao) 2024-06-06 11:40 (UTC)
let's see if i can make up for DW's mishap last night :|
bionicstaringmachine
2024-06-07 06:23 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Just like her, he's smiling without any guards in place, looking lighter in the moment than he does in his day-to-day. There's crinkles at the corners of his eyes and a warmth in those blue eyes of his, a far cry from the shadows that sometimes color their way in, proving that he's still years away from being fully distanced from his past and actually healed in any way.
It takes him a minute, but he's slowly realizing something. Was that - yes. It was. That was his first kiss since 1943. He was busy overseas, fighting in a war so it wasn't like he had all that many opportunities to find a beautiful dame and lay on the charm for even a few kisses. And with Hydra, his body wasn't his own, he'd been no more than a weapon, a tool to them to use how they see fit. This was something he's initiated, something he's actually wanted and acted upon, even if it had been hesitant at first.
His first thought had been that it was a damn good kiss, but now he's worrying that maybe that passage of time making him rusty meant that he wasn't as good at this as he once was. He's not immediately noticing her own worry, because he's focused on his own.
With his hand still cradling the back of her head, his fingers have tangled themselves in her hair and he's thankful for the smooth nature of the vibranium that makes up his arm, otherwise he'd be worrying he'd snag her hair due to imperfections or because of joints and grooves that weren't as smooth as they appeared.
Slowly, he's reading the worry in her expression and he interprets it as something to do with him and nothing to do with her - even if he knows she's in the same place as him, with that self doubt, being unsure of what someone might see in them but doesn't realize how deep that really goes - so he's trying to make up for what he considers must be a slight when it comes to their first kiss. ]
First kiss in about eighty years? Yeah. I'm kinda rusty, but I'm willin' to give it another go if you think I need to do better.
It takes him a minute, but he's slowly realizing something. Was that - yes. It was. That was his first kiss since 1943. He was busy overseas, fighting in a war so it wasn't like he had all that many opportunities to find a beautiful dame and lay on the charm for even a few kisses. And with Hydra, his body wasn't his own, he'd been no more than a weapon, a tool to them to use how they see fit. This was something he's initiated, something he's actually wanted and acted upon, even if it had been hesitant at first.
His first thought had been that it was a damn good kiss, but now he's worrying that maybe that passage of time making him rusty meant that he wasn't as good at this as he once was. He's not immediately noticing her own worry, because he's focused on his own.
With his hand still cradling the back of her head, his fingers have tangled themselves in her hair and he's thankful for the smooth nature of the vibranium that makes up his arm, otherwise he'd be worrying he'd snag her hair due to imperfections or because of joints and grooves that weren't as smooth as they appeared.
Slowly, he's reading the worry in her expression and he interprets it as something to do with him and nothing to do with her - even if he knows she's in the same place as him, with that self doubt, being unsure of what someone might see in them but doesn't realize how deep that really goes - so he's trying to make up for what he considers must be a slight when it comes to their first kiss. ]
First kiss in about eighty years? Yeah. I'm kinda rusty, but I'm willin' to give it another go if you think I need to do better.
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