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[bionicstaringmachine]

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[franfalle]

[ She lets her hand drop when he looks down, suddenly worried that she's upset him. Had she been too forward? Was she being too much?

But he's still holding her close — keeping her close, even — and she realizes that he's trying to say something. So she waits. It's not like this is the first time this has happened, when silence comes between them as he (or she) thinks about what he wants to say, though this feels more important than the other instances because of the kiss. Still, the insecurities persist with their treacherous whispers. Don't take it seriously. He doesn't really like you like that. You know nothing about the world. Or what it's like to fight in a war. You're just a curiosity. What can you even give him?

What he says, however, only draw her closer to him. He would know what that's like, wouldn't he? How awful. Now she wants to wrap her arms around him and hold him close and keep him safe, somehow, but he was just talking about choice and consent and control, so she doesn't. ]

I'm sorry. If I ever make you feel like you don't have a choice, I'm sorry for that too. [ She just squeezes his hand again; they're still holding hands, so it's safe and not overstepping his boundaries right? But it's a blanket apology in case she missteps. This is all so new. ] And thank you. For always being so kind to me. For... sharing all this with me. [ The kiss, his feelings, his past. She's going to treasure them all. ] You didn't have to. But I'm glad you did.

[ Then she smiles, soft and shy and almost sheepish. ] Is it okay if we kiss again? Or we can just eat and I'll tell you my secrets...

[bionicstaringmachine]

No. [ It's a simple, one word answer with a firm shake of his head, even if the movement is slight because he's not trying to move too much to accidentally put any sort of distance between them. ] You've never made me feel like I don't have a choice. I'm not telling you this because of that, it's...so you know what you're gettin' yourself into with me.

[ It's not really a warning off, because he doesn't want her to go. Even if there's just that barest notion within him to push her away, to tell her she deserves better than him, because it's hard for him to really let people in and trust but - he's not doing that. Because while they're talking about choice here, it's her choice to have come here to him, knowing what they might talk about, what might happen.

So he's not gonna turn tail, try to send her off in some dramatic effort to keep himself safe because he doesn't think she's looking to stab him when he least expects it. And something tells him she's not gonna decide one day she's gonna up and leave, either.

Yeah, his self worth might be wrapped up in some other issues in there too, but he's not looking to unload all of 'em right now. He just wants her to understand this one important thing, so she isn't left wondering why he might be a little slow about things, because he wants to do it right by her.

There's a beat, after her question that while he made it clear that he wanted some kind of consent from her before he kissed her, the only confirmation that she has that it's okay they kiss again, is his lips on hers after her mention of secrets.

He wants to know anything about her she's willing to tell him - just like he'll tell her whatever she wants to know, even if it might take a bit to get there - but there's a boldness that wasn't there before. He's determined to make this kiss better than the first, but he's also not trying to toe the line into anything that they might not be ready for. The boldness is to show he does want her, he's not just sweet talking her because he doesn't have anything better to do, but then he's gentle, showing a regard for her that makes it clear he's working through this just as much as she is.

It's only in that space between kisses that he murmurs against her lips: ]

You've got a spell, right? The food and secrets can wait a little bit.