bionicstaringmachine

Must be. I wonder who she learned that trick from.

[ Yeah, he can take a wild guess who his cat would learn that kind of thing from and there's about three guesses on who would be on the top of that list. ]

With her best behavior being that, her worst can't be all that bad.
🤝

[ There's a pause because he's used to holding back, trying to keep himself from hurting anyone who doesn't have a similar serum running through their veins or if the time ever comes he spars with anyone with powers, able to fight back with a little more than he can with his training and enhancements. ]

How are you planning on doing that?

Probably Steve.

[Which sounds like a smart ass comment on the surface, but she's equally confident Mr. 'I learned how to steal cars in Nazi Germany' is more than capable of some light b&e when he puts his mind to it.

Even though it was absolutely her. Misdirection, okay?]

Guess I'll keep her.
🫡

I've got a couple of different ideas.
Weapons and a stand in for the widow's bites since I don't want to electrocute you this time.

['This time' isn't exactly a comforting thing to say, Natasha. But he's not the only one that's used to holding back in battle. The difference is that he has to pull his punches whereas she reserves certain moves and skills so she can disrupt the fight pattern people expect from her.]

Here I was worried he'd try to steal her from me, the whole time he was turning her into a bigger pain in the ass than him.

[ He sees through the misdirection but, he'll humor it. He can see Steve making sure that Alpine gives him a little grief, even if she's usually well behaved. ]

Not that she'd make it easy for you if you tried to get rid of her.

That's 'cause it's cheating when you do that and you know it. Even if I guess I can try and use the dead weight of it while I'm waiting for my arm to work again.

[ He's making light of it because he knows she wouldn't be trying to electrocute him on purpose, if she's looking for other alternatives...but it would get in the way of their continued sparring if his arm was out of commission for even a short period of time. ]

Sooner or later. There's other stuff that's not all bad, but this is the first one.
I'm not making any promises on how right I am, but I know I am.

[ If she doesn't decide to plant one on him, he knows it'll come to a point where he'll be closing that gap himself. He could see them both deciding to go for it when the moment's right and that's not a bad possibility from where he's standing. ]

Guess whenever these plans happen, we're gonna have to cancel anything we've got goin' on the next day.

[ If she's not taking it easy on him and he plans on it taking all night anyway, why rush off for anything the following day unless it's something to do with the end of the world? ]

Are food critics the same as the people with food blogs? I've seen some that don't look grumpy or old.

Should've known.

[She does appreciate that he's clearly playing along with her misdirection.]

I already went from telling her I'd feed her but she couldn't come inside to letting her live here and make cat friends.

[Doomed. She's so doomed. Never tell anyone that she has a cat shaped soft spot, Bucky.]

It's not cheating, it's just utilizing my skills to my advantage.

Anything else make the top three?
Could say you're approaching 99%.

[There is something to be said for meeting in the middle. And for the absolute certain knowledge that they've got the same level of excitement simmering underneath the surface.]

Sounds like you're inviting me to spend the day lying around.

[Which is...oddly sweet. And extremely appealing. She can think of much worse ways to spend the day after they enact their plans.]

There's some overlap, but they're mostly two different subsets of food enthusiasts.

I'm gonna have to supervise his visits with her from now on, can't have him teaching her too much.

[ He can indulge things like this because it's more fun to pretend that Steve is the one trying to turn his innocent cat into a little troublemaker. ]

Alpine and I gotta thank Liho for that, since I'd probably be stuck with some mean alley cat if you didn't have her.

[ He's been told he resembles Grumpy Cat, so he probably would've ended up with a cat that is similar in nature and he'll take Alpine over that cat any day. If she keeps his soft spot secret, he'll be able to keep hers a secret too. ]

Sounds like a lot of words for cheating to me.

The food. Having more options is nice. I don't hate the internet.
I was gonna say 91%.

[ He didn't want to pretend he was completely right, he thinks that was a lower number that sounds plausible still while letting her know the excitement he feels is real, he's just preoccupied with finding the moment. ]

Yeah, I guess I am. I can't think of much I'd wanna do the next day.

[ He might also like the idea of either being there in her place after or having her at his, not rushing to get to anything unless they had to. Maybe they'd get bored, maybe they wouldn't. ]

I don't know anything about having a blog, guess I'm gonna become a food critic.

This could be a good way to teach him about subterfuge.

[Even when he's being sneaky, Steve still brings a certain amount of...'wearing a red and white target on his back' to the party that's about as subtle as getting punched in the face with an American flag.]

Liho accepts her thanks in the form of catnip. Which she is happy to share.

[She couldn't see him with a grumpy cat. Even if there is a certain resemblance. But she could see him with a cat that's slower to warm up. Alpine's still the better option. His secret will be safe with her.]

One could make the same argument about super strength.

I don't think he knows what it means to try and be sneaky. He didn't know what it meant back then and now he's harder to miss.

[ And it's not just because he's taller than he used to be. But if anyone could teach it to him and make it stick, it would be them. ]

Good thing I started buyin' it in bulk.

[ It was more cost effective to do it that way, but he's beginning to develop a habit of getting a few things for Liho when he's getting things for Alpine. ]

I can't shut off the super strength and I already pull my punches because of it.

Being able to order food on the internet really makes up for some of its shortcomings.
Feeling modest?

[She gets what he's driving at, but she also appreciates and even enjoys when they keep things light like this. The moment will come to get a bit deeper.]

Sounds like a pretty good day to me.

[And like a pretty normal day. Which is quite appealing, especially if she gets to spend the day with him.]

You sure?
I could teach you how to blog.

I've gotten him to try a few times. It's definitely not his forte.

[But she does appreciate the willingness to try. All things considered, he'd done a decent job when they'd all been on the run.]

Did you really?

[There's a possibility that he's joking. But she thinks it's more likely that it's true. It hasn't escaped her attention that there are enough supplies at his place for two cats.]

Guess I'll just have to convince you not to pull your punches when we spar by using every trick in the book.

[And some tricks she wrote on her own.]

I don't like having to scroll through a recipe if I feel like cooking. I don't wanna read about someone's dog when I'm trying to figure out what ingredients I need for it. Being able to order food helps when that happens.
I can be modest.

[ And for as much as they know it'll all come to a head eventually, he hates the idea of setting expectations too high on when it will be. Being light about it, it helps. ]

It's not jumping out of a plane without a 'chute, but it's something.

[ Natasha has quickly become one of his favorite people to spend time with - for a different reason than the other people he spends time with - so he considers time spent with her as something to look forward to as it is, but in this scenario he doesn't see why he'd want to do anything else unless it's the end of the world happening. ]

Alright, how do you teach that kind of thing?

I've got a great browser extension for you. It skips through the story right down to the recipe. I'll add it for you.

[If that sounds suspiciously like she might be planning to hack his phone so she can add a helpful browser extension, it's because she is.]

We know where to get a plane if it comes to it.

[Something tells her that it won't. But it stays in the vein of keeping things light.]

I hear they offer classes down at the senior center.

[ from here ]

Half the time those drinks smell like they're too sweet just from being around enough of 'em since getting back with half of the world. I thought the point was tasting the liquor, not masking it with a bunch of bullshit.

[ from here ]

A margarita or three counts as zero drinks? Next time someone's wondering how many knives I got on me, I'm saying I might have one or three on me, but it's zero.

[ He's being a smart ass, forgive him probably-drunk-Darcy. Instead of insisting that she might want to eat something if she's possibly had three margaritas in the last hour, he goes with: ]

I guess I'm getting some food when I get there. I might share some of it with you.

Oh come on. We all know you have at least one hundred knives on you at all times. It's okay though. I forgive you. Besides, it's kind of hot.

[ This is something that Darcy more than likely would have still said sober, so she's not going to be ashamed about it. ]

I would offer to share my margarita, but it's probably going to be gone when you get here.

Oops?

inbox.

oh it's happening and will they be sorry about it? nope

both of them trying to pretend like they're not proud of the destruction

they're 100% proud because if it ISN'T trashed then they were holding back still tbqh

good because NOW i am back and ready for them to continue being menaces

this is the actual truth

the menacing cannot and will not be tamed!

lmfao did i debate on tagging the morning after meme with this EXACT situation? yes i did

THINGS ARE AS THEY SHOULD BE, because if it is tamed then he's wondering when she got swapped lmao

lmao just [scene opens on an absolutely ruined apartment. there's a knife stuck in the wall.]

look it might still happen and they're like huh how'd that get there

lmao it's just a sudden surprise skrull au

they will immediately launch into a game of "guess who the knife belongs to before we go get it"

LMFAO DON'T YOU THREATEN THAT!

😈

gen texting continuation — 11/17/2024 — @letsfkinggo.

tfln continuation — 03/13/2025 — @workingtheory.

YAY!